So here I was with sopping wet swimsuit and towel looking around for this thing and not finding it, so I ask.
Staffguy: "Oh, um, we only have those in the women's locker room."I think I need to learn how to speak with a more obvious verbal-irony font.
Staffguy: "If we put one in on the men's side, we're worried someone'll put a milkshake in it or something. You know how boys are."
Me: "Because girls will never do that sort of thing."
(Cue discussion on how this is exactly like being propositioned by creepy dude in the elevator at 3am at <pick-your-favorite-sfcon>)